EXAMS

First week of exams has past. 

Well anyway, we had a paper hours ago. It was one of those papers I felt all the dreadry to be sitting for it. I kinda......revised at the very very very last minute, spending excruciating 3 hours sitting down with my very own good friend, going thru topic by topic. I was the first to step out of the class by the way -swag face likka boss- BUT that does not mean I'm all confident of passing it. Once some classmates had stepped outta class, having smiles on their faces, I knew right away they had studied all night. Meh T_T I prolly had stepped outta class looking likka a troll, feeling all giddy with strained stiffed neck. 

Since the next upcoming exam will be Bahasa Melayu, many were asking

"NAK BELAJAR APA UH UNTUK MELAYU?!"

"Ala, tkya belaja apape ah. Cuma Muz je, in trouble!"

Been too well known in school for the past few years of my life there to be the one that has difficulty speaking in proper good Malay with a Malay accent *facepalm* - I AM TRYING - but of course, I can totally sound like a minah if I were to speak normally heheheheheh 

:B

Death

Its 3:27AM now and here I am, laying in pitch darkness, can't even see my own legs as I lay here stretched out, taking up a whole lot of space on the ground.

I stared blankly into the ceiling and let my thoughts fly. I then wondered about death and how would my end be. I gave it a long thought that it sent shivers down my spine.

اللهم اختم لنا بحسن الخاتمة و لا تختم لنا بسوء الخاتمة يا رب!

2nd day of 'Eid

FIRSTLY

Selamat Hari Raya uolls! Eid Mubarak! Taqaballahu minna wa minkum! Kullu aam wa antum bikheyr! Ramadhan had left so quickly and I bet everyone felt that Ramadhan this year was the fastest Ramadhan they've ever experienced :/ So yesterday morning was just so exciting 'cause I couldn't wait to pray Eid. Stayed awhile after that to listen to some tazkirah and people were emotional about it since it was pertaining to family and the Hereafter. Brrrrr...

SECONDLY ....okay this is so gonna be cliche but stillllllllll,

I would like to seek forgivenessssss from everyone, I mean, everyone is fighting their own battles and monsters, and trying to be someone better, right? Mohon maaf zahir dan batin, 10 jari ku menyusun plus lagi 10 jari kakiku meminta maaf, dpd hujung tudungku sehingga ke hujung stokinku. 

THIRDLY

5th semester is nearing to an end. What we are left now are just another 2 more schooling days and 2 weeks of exams and............then the final and last semester. Allahu Akbar. SO MUCH FEEEEELS AND EMOTIONSSSS...I just can't djkfndsklfhalkrf. I really do not know whats in store for me in 2014, but I put my trust in Allah to make my 2014 a smooth sailing one in sya Allah. Till then, lets just enjoy whats left of 2013 with dearest classmates and schoolmates. 

Just feeling the absence

We tell some to keep quiet while theyre talking to us, not realising that prolly we are the only one they are comfortable to talk to.

We tell some people we dont want to know, not realising that prolly they just want you to know whats happening in their life. But when they tell others or not talk to you abt it, you feel upset about it.

Some people just want others to listen to them. Its not a hard task, aint it not?

Now that when the person's gone, will you not miss his/her presence? Bet you wouldn't mind them talking for hours long.

Why wait for one's absence to appreciate his presence? Be a human.

A lil bit of reflection

Just few days ago, I got back from a 5D4N camp. I was the one of those programmers & game masters (as usual). Honestly, I find everything was a huge pile of mess. Every single thing screwed up. This is just what I think, prolly because I have high expectations for a good turnout.

However, no matter how long we planned for things to flow on smoothly, it is still God who decides and afterall, He is the best of all planners.

Many hiccups happened along the line, not wanting to mention anything but heres one/two obvious problems : miscommunication & messed up itinery.

It was of no joke as I felt rage burning inside me. But hey, gotta keep calm and continue maintaining a good composure (hahahaha).

Despite all these, those who werent people of the organizing/planning team, didn't feel the fire. It was a breeze to many and they felt that the camp was awesome.

Well, all in all, heres one important take-away, it could have gotten worse had I not have a supporting partner.

Having someone who supports you is so vital in a huge event. Firstly, handling a mass of participants (200 pax this time round) ain't a joke and is not an easy task. Hence, one can't do his job all alone, so obviously in need of assistance and perpetual support.

...gotta run now! Reaching school in a few stops. Will blog again whenever I've time to do so. Its quite convinient to have Blogger app in my phone uh?

Kadang kala buat bodoh lagi baik daripada melayan

Kurang memahami mengapa ada sebahagian orang suka menyibuk tentang perihal orang lain walhal dia bukanlah daripada ahli keluarga mahupun kawan rapat.

Ada beberapa soalan yang dituju kepada saya di ask.fm yang sebenarnya kurang sesuai untuk saya menjawab di sana. Mungkin jika awak benar-benar ingin tahu tentang beberapa perkara atau orang yang wujud dalam hidup saya, ada baiknya memberanikan diri untuk mengenal diri kepada saya dahulu.

Face me, and ask me straight in my face :)

"Makaruu wa makar Allah, wa Allahu khairul maakireen"

Mungkin salah satu sebab mengapa kadang-kala apa yang kami rancang tidak berjalan dengan begitu lancar kerana tidak meminta pertolongan daripada Allah.

Kita kadang kala alpa dan terlupa, malahan kdang kala pula bongkak kerana berfikir kita dapat melakukan segalanya dengan usaha diri sendiri. Apabila sudah ditimpa kesusahan, barulah ingin merenung kembali kesalahan yang telah dilakukan dan membuat perubahan untuk memperbaiki keadaan tetapi segalanya sudah pun terlambat.

Mungkin kita juga lupa bahawasanya manusia boleh sahaja tidak tidur malam untuk merancang sesuatu supaya segalanya berjalan dengan lancar, tetapi Allah yang menentukan dan tahu yang terbaik untuk diri kita. Sungguh, Dia lah yang sebaik-baik perancang.

Walau apa pun, biar sahaja perkara-perkara sebegini diambil pengajaran atau iktibar supaya tidak melakukan kesalahan yang sama pada masa hadapan. Kini walau terasa segalanya "it screwed up", kawan mengingatkan diri bahawasanya segalanya berhikmah.

Pada setiap sesuatu yang Allah uji kita dengan, cuba cari pengajaran darinya.

Allahul musta'an T__T

we can plan for all we care, but God's plans are better

We are at our 5th sem now (6 sems in total) and time is flying too fast. Our diploma years are ending in 9 months time in sya Allah. "What will you be doing after this?", a question oftenly asked. Many playfully replied with "KAAAHWWINN!", though I personally favour finishing my studies till menara gading then off I go with the prince charming (ceyyy God knows who, so don't even think of spreading any rumours - again). 

Some girls may prefer having a man by them, but I...........am so used to being with myself that I don't quite want to get married anytime soon T_T .....and stay at home to cook and clean (swear not my forte! But can make it ahhh with some help teeheee teeeheee teeeheeee!) But of course, apart from that, I don't think I'm ready for any lifetime commitment just yet *wails*........................but kalau kahwin sekarang and dapat sambung belajar...........meheheheheheheh lol >:)

Marriage comes with big responsibilities, precisely why the huge ganjaran promised from Allah. I am just afraid of having wrecked children, and a messed up household T_T ....looking at the state I am in now (haha). And to add on, getting asked by Allaaaahhhhh in the Hereafter for not being a good wife?!!?!?!?!? for not being a good mother??!!?!??! for not bringing up children the right way?!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?! -cries-

How easily do these youngsters get married but they don't think far? What do you end up with? An increasing numbers in divorce statistics! (Na'udzubillahi min dzalik)

The fact that I am in the teaching industry has taught me a lot............................. Its just sad to see the current state of those innocent lil kids. When I've any, I'd take care of them myself T_T You people have no idea what caregivers/maids can do to your kids *cries*! Further more, if you want the best for your kids, you yourself have to see them grow up right in front of your eyes. Hate it how parents spend little or no time at all for their kids, then send their kids to childcare/school and expect teachers to turn their little beasts into promising little well mannered prince/princess. JUST NO >:(

Eh eh eh okay its 2:52 AM now. Shall continue doing my work before turning in. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA just look! My time management is horrible. Omg :-(

mungkin sahaja

kadang-kadang, kita kene faham orang lain. dia duduk kat masjid bukan sebab dia alim atau warak ke apa, but just nak jadi alim/warak. mungkin dia tak dapat such feels/surroundings bila dia kat rumah. mungkin kat rumah, tak ada ahli keluarganya pun yang practice Islam. mungkin ada yang practice tapi tak keseluruhannya. kadang-kadang solat, kadang-kadang pula tak. ada pula yang mengomel sahaja tapi tak walk the talk.

mungkin ada juga yang cakap "ala org ni selalu dgn org2 masjid, step nak contribute kpd masyarakat konon tapi tak pula kat keluarga dia sendiri". kenapa mesti cakap mcm gitu? entah mungkin dia dah cuba nak berdakwah kat keluarga dia, tapi keluarga dia sendiri tanak. bak kata orang kan, kalau nak tepuk tu, pakai dua tangan? unless kau tepuk satu tangan kat tempat lain lah kan?

mungkin ada juga yang kata "ala si fulan ni baek gila kepe dgn org lain. dgn keluarga sendiri, perangai na'udzubillah!" yek eleh. rilek lah. entah-entah org tu rasa sangat bersalah setiap kali dia perangai dgn ahli keluarga dia. jadi to reimburse balik, dia baik je lah kat org luar. or maybe tgh practice nak ada akhlak baik ke apa, jadi nanti dia bila balik, dia dapat jadi baik dgn ahli keluarga dia. or maybe, dia da try untuk jadi baik tapi sebab perangai yang dia terima balik tak sebagaimana yang diharapkan, i guess its natural for a human being to react the same (except of course, for one who is not mindless). kadang-kadang, kita kene faham. ahli keluarga dan org luar punya perangai terhadap kita berbeza. faham ke ni? 

sekarang, just imagine, kalau dalam family tu, semua orang practice Islam ma sya Allah fully, as a whole, tk ada yang half-half, quarter-quarter, and then hari-hari adakan tadzkirah, just duduk berbual and discuss, then no one yang cause org lain to be annoyed or irritated on purpose, no one uses violence, can you just see how beautiful that is? if the person isn't always home and always out with people of such attributes mentioned, mungkin itulah yang sebenarnya dia perlukan, dia inginkan dalam ahli keluarganya but dia tak dapat. 

cuba husnuzhon. kesian orang-orang ni semua, yang cuba untuk berubah tapi sebab mulut ahli keluarga sendiri, mereka sedih dan semangat jatuh. cuba faham. c u b a, mungkin? :-)

B U S Y

Adab hamalatul Quran

The bearer of Qur`ān must be recognized by his nights when people are sleeping. And by his days when people are eating, by his sadness when people are joyous, by his tears when people are laughing, by his silence when people are arguing, and by his humbleness when people are easily offended. 

ʿAbdullāh ibn Masʿūd, in:

التبيان في آداب حملة القرآن لإمام النووي

....this hit me hard T_T *crumbles into pieces* :/

semester break activities!

I think the posters are enough for me not to say anything more lol

Goodnight already you people.

cherry on top

WOOHOO YGUYS! I'm done with all examinations for this semester! Now I'm left with 2 more semesters in syaa Allaah! *smiles gleefully* Asked my mom about pursuing my studies, and she said GO AHEAD. Omg I was so excited Idk what else to do except to just smile so widely all alone. It feels great to know that you have your parents' du'a and blessings by your side, in your life. I guess that's what matters the most; du'a and blessings from loved ones.

Well anyway, yesterday was Nahu paper and my goodnessssss, it was a total disaster initially but somehow I managed to do it and I enjoyed i'rab-ing it. Alhamdulillah! So al-qism ast-tsalist, was INSYA! Had to write on one but there were like I think 5 topics to choose from so I took..................... "يا بشرى! هذه نعمة عظيمة"

............what does بشرى even means and how dyou pronounce it? HAHAHAHAH! Is it busyra? Or isit basyra? Is that..like...a person's name or happy news or mankind? (laughs out loud). So I just went with the thought of "O Mankind! This is a great blessing!" and started writing whatever that came to mind. I hope I didnt sound stupid tho, or rather, out of topic :/ (giggles).

يا بشرى! هذه نعمة عظيمة! البصر نعمة, و اللسان نعمة, و السماع نعمة و كل ما أعطى الله علينا نعمة. و لكن كثير من الناس لا  يعلمون و لا يشكرون. و يشكو كثير من الناس ما وجد عندهم و لا يرى ما أعطى الله عليهم. و كيف الله أن يزيد نعمة عليهم؟!  قال الله في التنزيل "..لئن شكرتم لأزيدنكم..." | إلى هنا فقط لأنني نسيت ما كتبت في إنشائي 

Lol okay that was fun! Maybe I should someday write a post in full Arabic from start till end hahahahaha and let yguys suffer reading it. HEH (!)

By the way, my holidays have been used up even before it began (-_-) Most of my days have been taken up for basically school stuffs, especially with the student council. And whats more, I've to prepare for upcoming Kids Camp and MSC'13. May Allah ease my affairs. So, for the next two weeks or so, its gonna be so much fun! There'll be trekking (x2), rock climbing, meeting(s) & camp! *smiles from ear to ear*

Sorry but whatever, I am not an indoor kinda person. It gives me headache staying inside for too long and no I'm not kidding you. Well I hope I get a sporting life partner and thats the most exciting of alllllllll (!!!!!!!) We can cycle, shoot, roller blade, trek, swim, climb, run, jog, walk, crawl, allll togetherrrrrrr. But of course! We can sweep, mop, wipe, clean, dust, cook, bake together too! And most of all, I just want to finish my studies till menara gading (but officially finish seeking knowledge when I die) and be a better person and then contribute back to the community and still play a part in mosques' youth wing (MAY ALLAH WILLS THIS! YA ALLAH! AAMEEN AAMEEN AAMEEEEN!)

AND BABIES ARE JUST TOO ADORABLE AND CUTEEEEEEEEEEE okay bye.

how did we even..

People I can totally count on.

Alhamdulillah.

f o r g i v e

".... tomorrow they could be dead, literally dead"





Will you forgive someone only when he's gone?
Or will you accept his apology while he's still alive?

all in one

Alright, here's a lil update (since I'm kinda hvg some free time) :

Yesterday, my friend gave me a little surprise! I am so sure I was not expecting anything from anyone. GUESS WHAT SHE GAVE ME?! Its a watch from Hijra Timepieces (you can search them and their coolio stuffs on Facebook). Woah ma sya Allah. Yknow, I've always been wanting a watch with Arabic numerals but just can't get my hand on any cheap ones (because I do not want to spend more than $20 for just a watch) - the fact that I am always late, always having difficulty managing my time, an expensive branded watch on my hand (or anything that's beyond whatever I wanna pay), is just totally p o i n t l e s s. Yeay! So now that I got one! Walhamdulillah tsummma Alhamdulillah tsumma Alhamdulillah! B-) 

It was just a matter of time, indeed :-P

Then on that evening, I went to The Strangers Tour, at Ar-Raudhah Mosque. There were Boonaa Mohammed, Baba Ali and Syaikh Navaid Aziz. I totally enjoyed the talk so much yesterday (PLUS I GOT TO MEET SOME OF 'EM OHANA LOVES!) 

So the topic was about RELATIONSHIPS *everyone ooooos* lol oooooo hot topic uh. Indeed. Yeap, relationship we have with the Almighty Lord, with the community/the people around us and relationship we have with ourselves when we are all alone. 

Here's some of it *from my own understanding* (with a self-diagnosed mild Auditory Processing Disorder as a flaw, I couldn't grasp as many as I was supposed to - but at least I tried /laughs) ;

_____

• Allah asked Syaithan to prostrate to Adam. But Syaithan didn't want to. Because why? What was the reason? Because Adam was made from clay while Syaithan was from fire. So how many times did Syaithan did not prostrate to Adam? JUST ONCE. But this is only Syaithan to Adam.

• What about us, humans, the created, to the Creator? How many times do we pray in a day? How many of us here even wake up for Fajr today? Did we wake up on time for Fajr? We are lacking in fear of Allah.

• We fear our parents see us doing something haram. We sin behind closed doors because we don't want others to see. Do you think that despite your doors, your windows being closed, Allah can't see you?

• Do you think a mother that loves her child would throw him/her into fire? Of course not. Then know that Allah's is way much more compassionate than a mother towards her child.

• Yknow this life, its always full of trials and tribulations. Guess what again? That is the nature of this life here. Eternal happiness only exists in Jannah, and that is the nature there. So expect trials in this life. 

• Example like the life of a student. Well, you go to school and there's break time, right? You would enjoy playing, having so much fun during your break time but when the bell rings, it's time to go back to class. You dragged yourself back to the classroom but then the teacher reminds you that you've been sent to school is not to play, but because of a higher purpose which is to study, seek knowledge. 

• Allah gives you trials so that to direct your attention back to Him when you've drifted far away. 

• The sahabah of Rasulullah, they only care that Allah tests their iman. They wld say Alhamdulillah despite whatever, because its not as big as it could be. Thank God you lose just $10, not $100. Remember that there are many out there suffering worse than you. 

• Now imagine yourself in Jannah. Whatever you'd imagined, divert your attention back to what you had imagined when handling anyone difficult. Hehehehe. Then thank Allah for keeping you in a calm composure because everything's just gonna turn out ugly and horrible if you did lose it. 

• There are many differences between males and females. When males get stressed up/angry/sad, just leave them alone. When females feel that way, do not leave them but be by their side and listen to their stories. While males can stare at nothing thinking about nothing, females find it weird to be staring at nothing thinking about nothing because thinking about nothing is the same as thinking about something. When males go shopping, they know exactly what to get and which shop to go to, but when females go shopping saying they need a pair of shoes, they buy everything else except for shoes. But when they see a pair of shoes they like, and have them tried on, there is a high possibility that they might not buy it in the end. Females simply just want companionship, and time spend together. 

_____

K Alhamdulillah,  that's about all from what I'd gained :-P

Ohhhhh and today, GUESS WHAT AGAIN?! I had English exams. Yeap, easy peasy one two three you may say. But I was in total doubt, no kidding. I read through the comprehension passage, then the questions given. Then I looked at the marks given. IT WAS FREAKING TWO MARKS FOR EVERY QUESTION AND THOSE QUESTIONS WERE TOO STRAIGHTFORWARD. I got a little worried and confused. I was just puzzled by all these. It was too easy for me, I was dumbstruck in disbelief. I was unsure whether those were tricky questions that seemed straightforward but required long answers or were they really really straightforward questions that required minimum thinking? T_T ugh stressssssssssss

So Alhamdulillah, I am just currently left with one more paper ; Nahu, which will be on this coming Thursday. Please make du'a for me (and to whoever else too!) because when you make du'a for a brother when he's not in presence, the angels will say "Aameen, and to you too!"

p/s lol woah, this ain't a 'lil update' anymore uh heh

Peace be upon yalllll 

kecoh nah rilek lah

Woah woah woah people. My facebook timeline (well, at least mine if its not yours), is flooded with posts after posts of M'sia's elections.

Hoho, sorry but I am really not interested in all these politics; in being leaders, having to take hold of sucha big role - (just reminding) big role comes big responsibilities, further more we live TWICE, having to answer (TO THE ALMIGHTY LORD) about our duties while having such position + answering about our OWN life + the lives of OTHERS + + + + +

Brrrrrrrrrrrr think about how long would we have to wait to put just a foot into Jannah. Errrrgh T_T And here some are in the world, hating, fighting, arguing, hurling profanities, killing one another just to have power in control. 

Innaa lillaahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'un. Allahul musta'an.

still young blooded, afterall

Okay. Calm down. Don't get too emotional and do things on impulse and in anger. 

Friends?

Yknow one of those mornings, whereby you feel so free from any burden because you've studied for exams and whats not, you have nothing to chase after...ah yeap exactly that calm morning it is right now was.

So I was on my blogger's dashboard. Yknow how they show you your old blogs etc, welllllllllll, I decided to click on the oldest of all, which was the blog all the way back in 2008. I was practically just scrolling down till I decided to stop and randomly read one..............

It wasn't even halfway through, I just can't make myself read any further. I wanted to laugh at how stupid those blog posts are, but rather I feel so much pain in the heart, that then had led me thinking about some other stuffs too.

How easily we are influenced by friends, those peer pressure. Friends, they really do play big roles in our lives, especially in those adolescent years. They mold you to be who you are. Ahhh, you get it right?

Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه و سلم said: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” - Bukhari & Muslim

I hope to be a better friend.

“All You Who Sleep Tonight”, Vikram Seth