house in the morning, home in the night

So what is there to a home when there's emptiness? 

Technically, that is called a house, not a home.

true story

"When I grow up and if I see my father around, I'm gonna tell him to go to Hell and not to Heaven!", she cried.

Life hasn't been easy on her. She is only 8 years old for God sake. Why does she has to deal life this way? Broken family. Divorced parents. Her father got remarried without her mom's acknowledgement and so they had a huge argument, they decided to just divorce.

Life hasn't been all smooth sailing for her. Her mom would go enraged each time she came back from work, exhausted, and finding her daughter's unfinished homework  So she had to lie, each time and again, to refrain from getting screamed at, slapped, even worse, thrown out of the house. And it seemed, lying has helped her out a lot from unwanted problems upon herself.

Life hasn't been beautiful for her. Friends called her lard, blubber, elephant, due to her voluptuous size. She tried, tried so hard in trying to lose weight but she just can't help it. Eating makes her calm. Eating makes her forget all the pain. She eats to forget this foul world.

// When kids are not nurtured with love, care & concern at a young age, they'll turn to people that build thick walls up high and tend to suppress all their hatred inside till someday, they'll burst out in anger. It is of my concern for I believe all kids have their own potential. But due to hindrances like these that turned one to be defiant, believe me, when they grow up and have a thinking of their own, it is then hard to handle such child.

on a serious note,

Uhm, honestly, I am not anyone amongst the scholars nor certified asatidzah but I am getting a little bit too concern here about us, talking about religious matters without any knowledge.

Its a catastrophe, a calamity, an epidemic crisis.

Please, please, please I beg you, please seek 'ilm. You can seek 'ilm from anyone, no doubt, but please make your own effort to read/do your own researchs/expand your circle of teachers of whom you seek knowledge from and last but not least, make sure those 'ilm you've gained are of al-Quran and al-Sunnah, atsar from the Companions, ijma' & qiyas ulama of as-Salafus as-Soleh.

Most importantly, do not follow blindly nor be so taasub with certain teachers.

استغفرالله لي و لكم

Now, I am afraid to say anything more :(

#ProMSeminar

All praises be to God for a very beneficial day yesterday with lovely buddies. 

We went to the seminar by Productive Muslim ; The Three Spheres of Productivity, yesterday presented by the founder cum CEO of the Productive Muslim Ltd himself, brother Mohammed Faris (aka Abu Productive). 

It was a seminar on ways of how to be productive muslims as we ourselves can feel it in us that we don't get much things done even though there are 24 hours in a day; everyone sharing the same amount of time but yet some get to do more things than others. So, whats the problem now that we can't be as productive as past time scholars who spent so much on seeking 'ilm and yet, having the time to write so many books that are used as reference in present days? /ponder

Notes reaped from the seminar ;

#1 PRODUCTIVITY = FOCUS x ENERGY x TIME (towards maximising your reward in Akhirah)

Here we can see and understand that being productive, we need to invest on our energy and time and being focus at the same time. Being focus here means that one need to do one thing at a time ; no multi-tasking because during multi-tasking, the brain is switching from doing one activity to another in a rapid motion but if you were then to focus back again to one thing, it will take 25 mins for the brain to be totally in focus of that particular activity - which simply means, its a waste of time. So might as well, do one thing at a time, have focus, do it good and do it well. 

"A distraction has to exist and it has to affect you. If it doesn't affect you, it is not a distraction"

#2 DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF PRODUCTIVITY

To build discipline in oneself is by doing things when one LEAST feel like doing it. So how to start?!

• Have a purpose, a higher deal of purpose that is
• Practice, practice, PRACTICE!
• Make it a habit, make a routine
• Be self-accountable ; taking responsibilities for your own faults

1. Sense of purpose - (refer to al Quran) 

إِنِّى جَاعِلٌ۬ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ خَلِيفَةً۬‌ۖ 

 "I will create a vicegerent on earth."

(2:30)

وَمَا خَلَقۡتُ ٱلۡجِنَّ وَٱلۡإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعۡبُدُونِ

I have only created jinns and men, that they may serve Me. 

(51:56)

2. Sense of urgency 

- people spent 1/3 of their whole life sleeping hence only left with 20-30 years to be productive

- when one has sense of urgency, one see the need to settle things quickly - no procrastination, hence this will lead to a more productive behaviour and get many things done

3. Sense of gratitude

- use His blessings that He has bestowed upon you for His sake

- in return to show gratitude to Him, its not just about saying Alhamdulillah and not doing anything but one needs to be productive in order to do so

4. Sense of service

- have a desire to contribute back to the society/community

#3 We need to understand that :

• PRODUCTIVITY is not an event but its a PROCESS
• PRODUCTIVITY is not boring, its FUN!
• PRODUCTIVITY is not being busy, its being ORGANISED
• PRODUCTIVITY is not another mere activity, but its a LIFESTYLE

What productivity is all about is being organised, get things done but at the same time one knows to spare some time for fun! 

#4 ELIMINATE EXCUSES

Excuses are just a way for us not wanting to be responsible. So identify the problem and think of solutions to overcome it!

#5 3 TYPES OF PRODUCTIVITY ;

1 . SPIRITUAL PRODUCTIVITY

• Have sincere intentions & work hard
• Fill your life with barakah. 

What's barakah?

'Barakah is the attachment of Divine goodness to a thing, so if it occurs in something little, it increases it. And if it occurs in something much, it benefits. And the greatest fruits of Barakah in all things is to use that barakah in the obedience of Allah subahanahu wa ta'alaa)'

How to attain barakah?

1. Good intentions
2. Belief and piety in Allah
3. Solah (prayers)
4. Putting your trust in Allah
5. Reciting Quran
6. Saying Bismillah
7. Istighfar
8. Eating with people
9. Honesty in trade
10. Following the sunnah - start doing simple sunnah
11. Du'a (supplications)
12. Halal income/money
13. Praying istikharah 
14. Giving thanks to Allah
15. Charity
16. Tying ties of kinship
17. Waking up early
18. Marriage

So what removes barakah?

SINS & BAD DEEDS. 

Antidote : Tawbah & Istighfar

7 Daily Spiritual Habits :

1. Sunnah prayers before/after solah
2. Remembrance of Allah after every solah
3. Morning/evening adzkar
4. Night prayer
5. Duha prayer
6. Always being in a state of wudhuk
7. Recite 30 mins of al-Quran every day

2. PHYSICAL PRODUCTIVITY

"Managing your body is key to managing your productivity"

Manage sleep

"if you can manage sleep, you can manage your life"

How to sleep spiritually?

Its significance :

• Signs of Allah's power (in Ayatul Kursi)
• Realization of our weakness
• Reminder of death/resurrection 

ٱللَّهُ يَتَوَفَّى ٱلۡأَنفُسَ حِينَ مَوۡتِهَا وَٱلَّتِى لَمۡ تَمُتۡ فِى مَنَامِهَا‌ۖ فَيُمۡسِكُ ٱلَّتِى قَضَىٰ عَلَيۡہَا ٱلۡمَوۡتَ وَيُرۡسِلُ ٱلۡأُخۡرَىٰٓ إِلَىٰٓ أَجَلٍ۬ مُّسَمًّى‌ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٲلِكَ لَأَيَـٰتٍ۬ لِّقَوۡمٍ۬ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

It is Allah that takes the souls (of men) at death: and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep: those on whom He has passed the decree of death, He keeps back (from returning to life), but the rest He sends (to their bodies) for a term appointed. Verily in this are Signs for those who reflect. (39:42)

• Rewards to those who overcome sleep for worship - Qiyamul Leyl

Now think each time before we sleep,

sleeping for dunya VS sleeping for Akhirah 

Here are some practical spiritual solutions ;

BEFORE SLEEP : wudhu, witr prayer, night prayer, du'a before sleep
DURING SLEEP : constant remembrance of Allah, du'a if you wake up in the midle of the night, du'a if you can't sleep
AFTER SLEEP : du'a upon waking up, first actions

How to sleep physically?

- exercise to burn off stress

- do not eat after 8 pm

- no caffeine in the evenings

- stretch before going to bed

- make the room as cool/comfortable as possible

- do light reading before bed

- avoid glaring screens e.g TV, handphones, computers

How to sleep socially?

- Go to bed, forgiving everyone who has upset/angered you. Resolve conflicts/emotional issues. Imagine that that night is your last night. In what state do you wanna die in? Talk to a friend or write in down in a diary if its affecting your emotions. 

- Early rising is encouraged because  early mornings is when you have most WILL POWER and the CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE/TIME - can plan things to do for that whole day etc.

- Use your mornings to nurture your careers, relationships and yourself.

"When you make over your mornings, you can make over your life. This is what the most successful people know" - Laura Vanderkan, Author

- Manage nutrition ; understanding the source of food, using bismillah before eating, using right hand when eating, eating what you need, stop eating before feeling full & lastly, incorporate the habit of fasting. 

- You are what you eat. Know the difference between appetite and hunger. 

-Avoid skipping meals so as to keep consistent energy level

Rasulullah salallahu 'aleyhi wa salam said 

"The food of 2 people enough for 3, and the food for 3 is enough for 4" (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)

- Manage fitness

"Don't exercise for your body, exercise for your BRAIN!"

- Start exercising ; do simple workouts, taking the stairs instead of lifts, do 3 10 minute walk daily, morning, noon, evening etc

3. SOCIAL PRODUCTIVITY

Islam is a community-based religion not an individual-based religion

حيثما زرعك الله أثمر
Wherever Allah plants you, be fruitful

“The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind.” 

Islam puts heavy influence on being socially productive be it from family to relatives to neighbours/colleagues to community to ummah and to humanity as a whole. 

One needs to understand and clearly differentiate his/her mandated and elective roles.  

So how can we start being socially productive? Find an area of interest (which you want to help in), then learn/develop/seek knowledge regarding it and finally, share/teach/volunteer! 

p/s May we be given the patience and strength to practice what we have learned for if not, all these will be in vain.

blind followers

Think. Think deeper.

 This is something more than just boring Maths.

 Are we to be like robots? Systematized to a thinking whereby we all know that it is cleary wrong. There are some things that have been taught to us that are false. It is then up to us to analyze and critic. Make a fair stand and hold on to it strongly. Having a principle in life is as equally important. How easily it is for one to be tossed and turned around in the society had he not have any principle or values in life?

alter ego

I used to wish for a sister. I used to wish for a twin that has the same character as mine. I used to wish this and that and people always say "beware of what you wish for!". I shrugged it away thinking its impossible for it to be true, but little did I know, my wish was granted, in the most unexpected way. I thought opposites attract and likes repel - according to Science and oh boyyy, Science have failed me again.

Before anything, let me put up a disclaimer note : No, I am not gonna be so sweet all over, so I apologise for killing your joy in you having wanting to immerse in sweetness.

I've never met anyone as similar as myself except you (the word 'similar' itself is already an understatement).  I've never liked being the same like anyone else. It has never been a joy. However, I just gotta deal with myself in a whole different way ever since you got closer to me. Just, yeaaapp, suck it allll in, honey!

Well anyway, on the brighter of life, no doubts that yes, you've brought so much liveliness into my life as much as I've brought into yours! /oops I just can't seem to drop my ego around you. I've learnt a whole big deal from you too, all praises be to God. From having to suffer in agony (HAHA OKAY THATS JUST EXAGGERATING!) from daily monologues, talking to an alter ego is the best for one to be understood.

Looking back at where we came from and how/who we used to be, its amazing looking at where we are right now (though honestly its of nothing much, but the changes we made in ourselves is obvious enough  just enough from the way we view things now as compared to the past - for an example.) Just that, just the change in point of view has totally flipped our life 360 degrees. So many changes we have made in our life just by changing that, hasn't it?

Who said changing was ever easy? Who said kicking away the bad habits are as easy as A B C? People see us; the way we dress, the way we speak, the way we do our stuffs, and they judge so easily. They do not know our history neither can they ever understand what we'd to go through to be where we are now.

But once people know, they tend to look up on us. But no, they need to understand we are nothing. Prolly yes, we can be inspirations to some but do understand, that we are still the same; human beings. We err and only the foolish reverts back to the same mistakes on purpose.

So anyway, I just wanna tell you that I am proud of you that you finally made the decision to stand in front of everyone to give a speech and voice out your concerns though you've personal issues which I like to deem as unreasonable. You've given the chance, so grab it! You might never know your words can make an impact in anyone's life.

I know that your enthusiasm, your determination, your will power, your strength can bring you far. This is prolly a stepping stone for you in doing da'wah. I see great potential in you! You've the confidence, and you can speak eloquently well. I wish to see you go further ahead in life, so far, that someday you'll bring a change in the community! May Allah ease your affairs, gives you the strength and patience you need! <3

You might prolly still wonder whats so touching about that, so you see, like I said, my heart can't explain some things and your mind can't comprehend those things.

May we together spur on each other, be each other's support and strive for the best and not settle for the less! 

Walk the talk.

keep calm now

Ugh, why did I even............

Sometimes, a warm feeling overwhelms you when you reminisce about the past, about the people whom watched you grew up, about those whom have always been around you through thick and thin, in difficulties and in ease. I do miss those moments, those friends whom I used to hang out with. At times when you feel as such, so you tend to look at their profiles and browse through their pictures, wishing them their well being.

However, as you browse through one by one of those pictures, your lips crack into a smile but yet your heart feels so much pain. It is just something I regretted doing; leaving them. And now, when I see them back again, it hurts so bad to see them became worse than who they were before. But I know who they truly are deep inside and all I could do right now, is just to make lots of du'a for them. 

It has never been easy to change for the better and leave all the bad habits. But we need to start somewhere if we really want the change. Friends are there to support you and to help you up when youre down.

I, prolly, have not been a good friend. I, blame myself for all of these. I, just can't make myself accept what had happened. I, wish I could make a comeback and make their world not revolve around what it has been revolving around right now. I, shouldn't have left. Should not. I, am feeling the utmost regret. 

You, prolly might not understand.

keep it to yourself

Compliments and praises, something I just can't stand dealing with. Its something that makes me go all raging in the inside. Those sweet words don't suit me, for I, do not deserve as such. At times, I feel like smacking the head of that person or throwing dust in his/her face. Ugh, thats just how much I really abhor being praised.

Deep down, I know whats going on in my own heart. Its never been easy to fight away riya or the desire for wanting more praises after praises. Doing things not for the sake of the Mighty one, rather doing things for people to look at you as someone respected and yearning for praises.

So there. Alas! All gone the sincerity. How easily sincerity can be lost had one not been aware of it.

amazed

Some things in life that are deemed as trivial are actually things that demand for our thought and attention.

A human, yourself.

How often do you sit down and ponder about your own being?

I am currently reading a book titled "The Miracle of Human Creation" by Harun Yahya. Such beauty it is in a human being itself. Had you believed in Darwinism, but I guess after you read this book, you might even waver in your belief and dunk it away.

A book based on scientific facts (that now, many can't deny), a book that wants to eliminate the godless ideology in life, hence bringing forth such solid evidences and explainations and wanting to uphold the Greatness of God.

A book I'd encourage all to read, a food for thought.

Its getting late, better get going now.

pointless

It is 1 in the wee morning.

Many things are playing in the head. But I can't seem to put them in words that can explain how I feel exactly. Even if I managed to do as such, prolly those who read my words don't understand what I want to convey.

So, whats the point? Everything's in vain. 

tips, maybe?

Just wanna share a few things about parenting. 

• Discipline children in a way children will respect you
  - This is something that prolly (many) parents failed doing so. When a child has done smth wrong and starts answering you back, you do not scold him back, you do not lock him in a room, you do not beat him back! You be more of a parent, not lesser of a parent! Try to reason things out. Listen to him. Knowing that you listen to him, he'll in return, listen to you too.

• Do not let your child find others because when he does, society will mould your child.
  - Hence parents need to know of a way to get the child's attention so when a child finds comfort in talking to you, he'll turn to you if he has any problems.

• Start parenting from the day the child is born. Many too said, better start when its still in the womb.

• Never raise your child to give in to society. This just simply means, when a society is all bad, tell him that he should be firm in his principles despite whatever his peers may say.

• Do not limit your child's potential
  -  (Many) parents think they know their child well but that's where it is all wrong. Children have the greatest potential when (especially) parents have faith in them that they can achieve whatever they wanna do! So, just be helpful and be supportive! Be generous with kind words and praises too! 

• Have halaqoh at home
  - Which simply means, have everyone gathered around you and share knowledge! This, can lead to a tighter bond amongst family members too.

but...

Been getting emotional lately ever since last Sunday's event especially, when it comes to knowing kids are deprived of attention/love/care from parents and not being nurtured well enough. Its something that married couples should really take in consideration. Having children is not something easy, though the thought of having many children around brings so much joy and blessings.

The fact that the world today is of something upon materialism and nothing more than that, has inflicted so much pain in children. Many these days are left empty by their parents, to be taken care of in childcare centres, handing over a whole weight of responsibilities to teachers in charge. Parents "pampering" children with electronic gadgets and keeping them at home watching televisions and playing games all day all night rather than having their children out, running around and socializing with others, is something that prolly many do not realize that it has brought more negativity than what they think it may bring.

Such calamity had they brought upon themselves, unknowingly!

Not as easy as it sounds

Homaigosssh you guuiisse! Guess whauut?! Holidays are here! Well its only a two-weeks-semester-break kinda thang but STILLLLLLL! So anyway, life's been pretty good. It has always been, isnt it? All praises be to God! Exams are like finally oveeeeerrr but the last paper I sat was, was THE killer paper. It murderedddd me. Hoping for the best despite whatever.

So for the next semester (4th semester already!), I only have to take 3 modules out of 5 modules that the rest have to take (grins!) thats because I've alr sat for it and I passed em all! All praises be to God, again! (smiles widely)

Besides that! Yesterday was a fruitful day, maa syaa Allaah! All praises be to God! We did some volunteering somewhere in Singapore, sharing about Islam. It was an amazing experience and I felt so obliged to do something for the society after what I'd seen, heard and experienced. Though many have personal history of being sexually or physically abused, they trusted us and are so open and warm towards us though it was only the first time we met!

Poor us! How blind and ignorant can we get to not help these innocent children?! >:(

Hence now, I've come to a conclusion that, marriage has never been easy if its not upon something solid (a belief). Had it been upon for the SAKE OF ALLAH, for ISLAM, marriage would be so so beautiful. It would be of something more, so priceless if it is that way. Marriage is not just something to be taken so lightly ; to cover up shame just because your child did fornication. That in itself is a problem to the problem.

Allahul musta'an. May Allah guide us all and forgive us for our flaws that we ourselves are blind to see.

stick around

We need to learn to detach, to decathect from people.

The problem is that, many of us have difficulty in doing so. Losing a beloved one is such an agony. The heart-wrenching pain that prolly would lasts till the end of time ; we could still feel the loss. We put our hopes high in them, only to find ourselves in disappointments. Why? We were too close. But, such joy and bliss one could find in a good company, the warmth, love and concern, precisely why many do not have the heart to let go. 

2013

So hey? Its 2013. A whole new year filled with resolutions and whats not butttttttttttt, they'll be soon forgotten when it comes to the middle of the year. Whats there for new year resolutions anyway, when last year's resolutions weren't accomplished? (Ahhh food for thought much)

By the way, its like my exams period right now. I hope to ace this time round. I mean, its not like I've not been acing. All praises be to God that I have not failed anything ever since the start of my Diploma years, but its just this feeling of dissatisfaction that you get when you didn't get what you'd aimed.

But then again, like those wise old folks would say : the higher you go, the harder you'll fall.

Should be easy on myself, shouldn't I? Or maybe I should not. I might be complacent about it. Well, I've always been anyway. (bawls)

Ugh such melodrama I am all the time.

Oh, did I even mention that ever since the night of countdown and up to this very day (which just literally means a week has past), there're still huuhaas about this one event. Thought people would settled down after a day or two but no................. (I felt so suffocated by the heated arguments, hatred & slanders around). Such shame it was. Would be better had all put sand in their mouths and keep mum.

But yknow,

"Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards an idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response but rather, it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs" - quoted

Oh well. Lets all keep calm and carry on. And I really, really should smack myself hard now. I shouldn't even be here. I. Need. To. Study. 

xo