but why?

Pretty lady, handsome man, beautiful kids but....a wrecked marriage. (WHY?!)

Parents of my students got divorced, and there they were in front of the school's office, fighting over custody.

"But my custody starts at 9 am!"

"Yes I know! But these kids need to go to Madrasah! You can fetch them later at 12!"
"No no no! I want to take them now!"

"Don't just think about yourself!"

"Astaghfirullaaah! No! I want to fetch them at 9am!"

It was like any other Saturdays, a working day for me as a preschool teacher. Coincidentally on that Saturday, I wanted to go to the office to ask of something from the admin but even before I reach the office counter, I heard a whole lot of commotion. I peeped behind the door, feeling a little afraid yet curious at the same time.

Saw big brother (of only 6 years old) holding mom's hand while dad was carrying kid brother (who is only 4). While mom and dad continued arguing and letting their egos get into their heads, they forgot that their poor little kids whom they adored and doted on, had to hear to all those disgusting heated arguments.

How appalling.

Please mom and dad, please spare a thought for us, had they knew how to express themselves verbally.

How hurtful that might be for them /sigh/

Though school starts at 9am and ends at 12pm, the father was so insistent in wanting to fetch the children back home. However, both parents came to a thoughtful decision, that they two decided to stay, bought a cake for the youngest son as it was his birthday and celebrate it in school. Despite all, they managed to take a beautiful family picture though broken smiles were seen.

ego

Because your presence still lingers so strong, it runs deep in me, through my blood and soul, meat and bones.

personal issues

I personally hate how some people use twitter. Ranting and sharing your problems there once in a while is acceptable, but dahell would you do that every single day? When youre sad, you tweet. When youre at the verge of crying, you tweet. When tears start rolling down, you tweet. Done crying, and again you tweet. Tell me whats the point of tweeting as such all the time?! Are you yearning for attention? Do you want attention? Time and again you say that to the Lord you complain of your grief and sorrows. But excuse me, sorry to disappoint you, twitter is not the Lord, neither are humans. You turn to humans only when you can't find/think of any other solutions and you need advice on certain matters then by all means, talk to someone close. You do not rant in a social network, of public viewing, what would that portray you as? Hey cmon toughen up already! #issues

geram?

Setiap hari aku melihat perkara yang sama, orang yang sama sering kali bertelingkah. Di manakah terletak solusi pada masalah andai seringkali bergaduh tidak bertujuan arah? Di manakah terletaknya perasaan hormat antara satu sama lain? Di mana telah hilangnya perasaan kasih dan sayang? Beritahu aku, sudahkah perkara itu selesai dengan bergaduh kata-kata setiap hari? Bilang aku, tidakkah engkau berasa penat dan bosan harus selalu melayan karenah orang?

Adakah aku bodoh atau tidak campur orang? Mungkin aku seperti katak di bawah tempurung yang tidak tahu hal-ehwal semasa? Mana mungkin begitu andai aku tahu siapa dikau dan dia, apa perkara yang sering dijadikan masalah. 

Begini aku ingin sampaikan, memadam api bukanlah dengan menyala api, memadam api menggunakan air. Jangan mimpi ingin memperjuangkan yang haqiqi andai perkara kecil sering kali di jadikan perbalahan. Bercerai-burai sudah ummat manusia. Apa lagi yang mahu kau lakukan? Sambung gaduh andai dikau rasa ia membawa banyak manfaat. Mungkin aku buta tidak nampak hikmahnya.

Andai dalil sudah jelas menerangkan, apa lagi yang mahu kita katakan? Mahukah kita masih menolak dan memberontak? Kepada siapakah sebenarnya kami menyembah? Boleh sahaja kata itu kata ini, boleh sahaja engkau memperjuangkan apa yang tiada di sisi, akhir kata bukanlah manusia yang berkuasa.

Kata-kata bak pedang. Boleh menjadi penyelamat bagi mu atau membunuh mu mati. Terlangsung perahu boleh tarik balik, terlangsung cakap tidak boleh. Maka belajarlah diam. Tetapi biar diam seribu makna, jangan diam mati akalnya. 

influenced or influential

Days has been passing by quite quickly uh. I hope I had filled up my time productively (.....erk). 

So anyway today, we received back our 'Aqeedah (creed) assignment which our group did a research on Buddhism, and had presented about it (which included our paperwork of nearly 40 pages or so, I think). To our surprise, we received 39/40 (!!!!!!)

/shrieks in excitement and happiness!/ - I literally did that in class the moment I saw it.

It was just something I had not imagined, it was.........totally out of my worldview (factually stating that I've never ever passed anything with flying colours -_-)

*gasps for air midst all the hyperventilating*

But the fact that we received an EXTRA 5 MARKS for the video we produced from our virgin trip to the biggest Buddhist temple in Singapore and shared it in class, had left us feeling ecstatically delighted! All praises be to God.

Despite all, we got advised on that matter; entering sites of devotion of other religions is not encouraged as it could lead to the corruption of iimaan (faith). Though we went there - innocently - for the sake of completing our assignment and getting first hand explanations/information, knowing the level of iimaan we have in ourselves or rather, our understanding of the deen (religion) - the religion that we hold onto is something that we can never compromise easily, I guess its more about "Prevention Is Better Than Cure", afterall. 

الإيمان يزيد و ينقص

Iimaan goes up and down. This clearly explains how easily we tend to waver in faith. So no matter how high the state of our iimaan is - or so we thought/feel; it can easily drop down low and when so, doing a research on other religions can be tedious.

No, not tedious in a sense of doing physical works such as having to burn the midnight oil and reading up as much as you can/gathering information etc, but rather, feeling exhausted in having to fight the thoughts and emotions away, those we have in us as we continue to read on about other religions. And when you start to compare and weigh both sides, feeling like you're more prone to the latter, leave that research (for a moment) and start soul-searching instead :P

One really need to understand the meaning of 'Aqeedah - Tawheed (monotheism), first, and also having a solid understanding of the basic fundamentals of the deen before proceeding on discussing or researching about other religions/ideologies/doctrines, so as not to be easily influenced. 

swirls~

Aha, what a lovely movie I had just watched! It depicted perfection and elegance! A story on a lady whom was chosen to be what everyone else was fighting for. She was so innocent, beautiful, but just that role given to her had turned her into someone or rather, something she's not.

Elegantly swirling around in both white and black, everything came to an end as she finally stabbed herself unconsciously! Innocent and graceful she was, so controlled and perfect she wanted to be, but as she was continuously told to let lose of herself, she turned into a monster, a catastrophe upon herself and her mom, so guile too! She went ballistic over petty little things, losing self confidence and self esteem as she thought she had a rival but little did she know, all these were just images in her head.

Ultimately, it was just her fighting with herself.

Indeed, for the sake of love and passion, anyone's able to do whatever it takes to achieve his desired goal, even if it means hurting oneself and others. So let that enthusiasm and determination be put to good use. If there's a will, there's a way, afterall.

semester break outcome

untitled

One of them people who will be under the shade of Allah in the Hereafter are those men that when called by women of beauty, they turned away and said "Inni akhofullah! - Verily! I fear Allah!".

Such men these days are so hard to come by. Technologies are such huge hindrance for one to achieve patience. Mass media especially, using women as tools to attract customers by means of posters, commercials, advertisements, brochures, flyers, signboards or even in magazine. And all of these can be easily found almost in every corner of the street, in bookshops and on the net. Women's beauty are easily taken advantage of, when in fact such beauty should be covered and protected. 

Which men can ever resist such temptation when one do not have patience? And such patience of when one restrain from sexual desire, it is called honour. So how can men ever resist such desire if they don't have honour? And how to achieve honour without having faith in and fear towards Allah? 

(le sigh)

T_T

Received a total of 3 news on death for 2 consecutive days. How am I supposed to feel? Honestly, I do not know anymore. I am just so tired. 2 out of 3 deaths were pertaining to losing the one and only beloved mom.  So many thoughts running around my head, spinning, dancing, twirling, whirling making me feel like I'm in a daze.

I can't bear the fact of losing my own parents. I can't seem to bear the fact that I won't come home to anymore naggings, smiles from their faces, warmth from their hugs, savouring the dishes they cook, listening to them reciting the Quran. Ya Allah, its already so heart-wrenching at the thought of it. I....just...can't.........

#proM

http://productivemuslim.com/

Ma sya Allaah, very good website. May we benefit from it.

hush

From ibn 'Amr from Rasulullah salallahu 'alahi wa salaam said

"Do not speak much without mentioning Allah, for much talk without remembering Allah causes hardness of heart, and the one who is farthest removed from Allah, is he who has a hard heart" (Tirmidzi)

intention

Right now, the weather is so perfect for a snuggle in bed, but ugh I'll just get even more lazy if I follow suit my own desire. Its like a self-destruction. And that is just plain stupidity.

So anyway, today is the last day of my semester break holidays as semester 4 is gonna start tomorrow (beams in happiness and excitement!) The enthusiasm and determination I'm feeling right now is just so different in comparison to any other semesters. I can't seem to figure out why. And I think its wrong for me to feel this way (?!?!?) Had I did it all for the sake of God, wouldn't it then that I'm supposed to feel as such for all semesters? /facepalm/

So yknow what's the problem now? The problem now lies in one's intention. Every single thing that we do, it all goes back to the intention as intention is the root of all deeds. Good intentions lead to positive outcomes. Bad intentions lead to negative outcomes. Agree? But however, doing something bad with a good intention does not make sense because how can you get good outcome through means of doing something bad? 

I went for a talk yesterday, "Whoever Purifies it, Succeeds ; Overcoming Diseases of the Heart", by Syeikh Bilal Ismail and was reminded that having intention solely for the sake of Allah is the ultimate intention a Muslim should have. I swear to God, having the intention to stay put is something so difficult. 

There is a hadith (sayings of the Messenger may peace be upon him) that mentioned about 3 types of person that'll go into the Hellfire first.

Who are these people? 

Such are people from the 'ulamaa (scholars), the one that loves to donate and the one that was martyred. But why?! As we see such people with high standards/expectations and we tend to look up on them, but truly only God knows what's exactly in the hearts of those. So what went wrong? Yeappp, they got their intentions wrong. They did it because they wanted to be called so-and-so and to be praised as such-and-such. Such people would then be said to them "You did it for dunya, so you got dunya! Now there's nothing left for you in Aakhirah!" and they would be dragged on their faces to be thrown into the Hellfire. 

Astaghfirullaah. Ahhhhh such utmost importance it is to have the proper, right intention T___________________T

Teman - Zubir Abdullah

"Kehangatan mentari menyinari pagi
Derusan hujan mendingini panas
Saling mengiring saling melengkapi
Begitulah kudrat illahi

Kehadiranmu teman bagaikan cahaya
Menerangi taman hatiku yg sepi
Jalin kasih mesra kurnia maha esa
Merestui kemesraan ini

Andai bunga tiada mekar mewangi
Hancurlah harapan unggas menyepi
Andai dikau menghilang dan menyendiri
Ku terapung hilanglah panduan
Bak hujan di tengah hari
Panas menduri bumi...
Begitulah perasaan pabila bayangmu pun tiada

Keikhlasan hatimu menghangatkan jiwa
Kelembutan suaramu menyejukkan bara
Jernih airmatamu lambang ketulusan
Menemaniku dikala kesepian

Teruslah menyinar mentari pagi
Teruslah menari hujan yg mendingin
Menghijau menyegar menyuburi bumi
Saling menjalin hubungan infiniti"

Because I, honestly, have not gotten over how beautiful this is. 

bangkitlah!

Jika tidak dipecahkan ruyung, manakan dapat sagunya

Maksudnya, cita-cita tanpa usaha tidak akan tercapai. 

Begitulah lumrah kehidupan. Andai mahukan sesuatu, sudah pastinya harus senantiasa berusaha. Jika duduk tidak melakukan sesuatu, janganlah harap anda akan maju! Jangan pula takdir disalahkan, bahkan salahkan diri sendiri! Kemalasan bukanlah sesuatu yang harus diadakan dalam diri, malah ia sesuatu sifat yang sepatutnya dilawan. Jika kemalasan dibela dan dibelai, maka diri akan hancur dimamah kebodohan.